WE ALL NEED SOMEONE TO HOLD ON TO.

Aah to be old and loney... Yeah, I know how it feels, I am a very lonely guy, I dunno, something about me just doesn't connect with most people. It's very rare for me to connect to others, I really do not believe It is possible for a guy like me for that to happen, I guess there is something wrong with me, BUT I do believe I have connected with one person and only one. The trouble is, It's just gonna get complicated even so if I fessed up and spilled my guts to her, I would'nt survive the amount of thoughts that would rush to my head the day I say I love her.

Story board complete... (or is it???)

I'm on my last frame of this storyboard work of mine Effing FINALLY... I hope things pick up more pace, these days...

I've been really down and out. I don't know why but it feels like I'm walking on thin ice lately... I guess we all have those days. bad luck seem to catch up on me, can't concentrate on things, losing my focus in life, my drive. I need something for my coal to burn hot again, I'm at my wits end. I never felt so alone in my entire life. I guess smiling about it wouldn't really help, pretending to be dumb only makes it worst, to the point that my head keeps on locking up and does not function properly, I think I should be on drugs for this. To lessen the pain everyday gives, maybe I'm just really dumb to get it.


A wishing star just flew by me and I was to retarded to have noticed. I should've grabbed it and never let go, but the star was too hot for my stubby little hands to handle, I guess I'll just have to settle for moon rocks.

even if you say so oh no...

it was familiar to me
the smoke too thick to breathe
the tile floors glistened
i slowly stirred my drink
and when you started to sing
you spoke with broken speech
that i could not understand
and then you grabbed me tightly

i wont let go
i wont let go
even if you say so
oh no
i've tried and tried with no results
i wont let go
i wont let go

he then played every song from 1993
the crowd applauded as he curtsied bashfully
your eyelashes tickled my neck
with every nervous blink
and it was perfect
until the telephone started
ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing off

Stress is killing me.

Lately stress is killing me, everything seems to stress me out, People, work, plans, family, Things, etc... By stress meaning something might pop inside me and kill me kinda stress. First off. Work, My work is unique, in it's own way, it's even unique to most people's work in the same field, I don't really like to call myself as an "artist", I soooo effing hate that term so much it really kills me to think that that's all I am. I know I can think normally, act normally, live normally. don't get it mixed with me wanting to do something with my life kinda shit. Being labeled as an artist is like discrimination, a very special discrimination. What would you think when someone calls you an artist? Exactly... Special, someone who thinks differently, can do stuff that most people can't do, gifted, someone who doesn't care for anyone or anything but art... what else??? Doesn't shower, outcast, self centered, fucking egotistic, most times odd... Tho some of the examples above specially the doesn't shower part do apply to me. But if you knew me well, I'm really just doing this for the money. No magic invovled. No romantic spec of a reason. I wanna help out my family and to start my own family. I tried jobs in my mid early life that did worked out and didn't work, I'm not giving up on trying and thinking different stuff with my life but this is what I know and do and want to do that should pay bigger than the normal pay. I don't wanna get trapped in some company that I'd worked for for 40 years only making them more richer with every breath you spent. I just want to prove a point that anything is achievable when you concentrate on things so hard, so real, it gets to that when you blink, It just happened.

The guy who said life itself is art, is a fucking retard. I fucking wanna shit on him/her so baad while he/she is sipping woolong tea by the terrace in a mansion where he/she got by exploiting those people that are called "artist". Art to me should feel good. I Know it should... If life is art... EXPLAIN TO ME WHY DO PEOPLE DIE tragically? Why do some have it while others barely have some, Why different people hate each other... (Insert other shitty stuff that happens in life).

You wanna know another fucked up thing about me?

it's like a swimming duck situation. On the surface you see the duck relaxed all cozy just floating over the water minding it's own business, but below the water you see panic and disarray from it's webbed feet just trying to keep itself afloat and moving.

It'd take a lifetime for it to end.

Brand New Colony

I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit
Like a perfect gentlemen
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
Where you will sit and contemplate your day

I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zippedstraight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold

I want to take you far from the cynics int his town
And kiss you on the mouth
We'll cut out bodies free from the tethers of this scene,
Start a brand new colony
Where everything will change,
We'll give ourselves new names (identities erased)
The sun will hear the grounds
Under our bare feet in this brand new colony
Everything will change, oOo oOo...

Best advice.

Live every day like it's the best day of your life.

Dedication

"I've never been good at finding things, I'm really good at losing things, the remote, the keys, parrots...

I spent my whole life wanting something and doing my very best not to find it, never even going near the places where it might be... Then suddenly I got the goddamn thing practically chained around my neck, you, your the goddamn thing,

I can't describe you

I don't write that kinda shit, you know people who write the real books the love books and the poems even those stupid little fucking novels with those hunky assholes on the cover you know what I'm talking about? Your like princess shit, you know? fairy tales... You know what I'm saying? The million guys are after, blinded by your beauty kind of shit, Real big stuff, you know? They got the dick who kidnaps you and sticks you in a cave and your guarded by a 5 headed dragon and the tales of your plight are spread through out the land and now all the guys go on put on your shoes so they can see what's up but none of them have the balls to save her except for me. I would go through anything for you.. and still there I was looking for a way not to see it, anything.... yes I am a big fat stupid idiot."

Story bored...

I'm completely losing my mind over this story board work of mine, Now I really hate drawing.

405

I took the 405 and drilled a stake down into your center,
And stated that it's never ever been better than this.
I hung my favorite shirt on the floorbaord, wrinkled up from pulling pushing tasting.
You keep twisting the truth that keeps me thrown askew.
Misguided by the 405 'cause it lead me to an alcoholic summer.
I missed the exit to your parents' house hours ago.
Red wine and the cigarettes... hide your bad habits underneath the patio.