Boeing P-26 pea shooter

Early modeling references used.
Initial stages for my new project,
a 10- 15 sec clip of a squadron of p-26 boeing fighter plane.

The element of success.

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not;
nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will
not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the
world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone
are omnipotent.”


—Calvin Coolidge

Conroe heaven

What a way to start a sunday afternoon, Eating fried chicken and a hamburger in front of my NEW conroe CPU rig! aaaah

*sigh

Upping the ante

Currently I am in the process of upgrading my rig( pc), in the quest of learning Maya 3d modelling and animation, I have concluded that it is wiser and nicer to have a powerful pc at my disposal,

My Pc specs where:

pentium4 2.8 ghz cpu with 1 mb L2 cache 533 fsb

asrock 775vmi yadda yadda (ass-rock) p4 motherboard with built in lan/audio/Video agp 8x

gigabyte 6600gt 128- bit 128 mbram ddr3

500 watts psu

160 gig sata Seagate hard drive

a very sturdy and durable asus cdrom drive, using it almost (6 years now)

and pioneer dvd writer and reader


Pretty decent setup up a year ago, plus what I do with maya, my setup was sufficient enough, but suffice to say, I am a nerd and a geek at these type of things and once the upgrade bug bit you... There's no turning back. LOL!



My estimated pc upgrade:


core2duo e6600 2.4 ghz 4 mb l2 cache (Swhing! :D)

msi c2 duo Mother board, pcie-16x, 2x ddr667 slot

1 to 2 gigabytes of ddr667 ram

gigabyte 7600gt 512 mb ddr3 (hehehe (:< )

same hard disks, dvd and cd roms and psu and even the 6 year old tower! ;)



this new upgrade path is only minor in my real upgrade plans, tho almost everything got replaced, performance wise, my rig will be at least 2x to 4x faster than my previous one! Which is pretty good for me cause pc lag is what I hate the most! I'm now struggling between blowing my wad now or wait for January to get those components (I heard from the grape vine there will be a pc drop in stores.)

Rest in peace guitar girl.

Pauline Bernardo Diano ( 1994 - 2007)

Your strumming lives on our hearts...

Help.

I can't sleep, I can't think straight.

Someone save me.

GOD SAVE MY COUSIN!

Dear Lord, My cousin is in the ICU right now, and she need blood transfusion to stabilize her condition, please lord if you could find kind people to help her, I would give my life for you, I promise, Don't let her die, She's too young, full of life and potential, Don't leave us in the dark dear Lord. I'd rather be in her shoes just to save her life, I know this is a test in our lives but please lord don't take her away, I haven't told her how much I love her, her singing, her guitar playing, her antics, her life, I know this sucks cause I only come to you when there is trouble, but if you take her now, we could'nt handle it a s a whole. Our family just suffered a death last year, and she is waaay too young for you to take, I love you Lord, and it will crush my spirit if you take her, TAKE ME INSTEAD!!! NOT HER... TAKE ME LORD. DON'T TAKE HER AWAY FROM OUR FAMILY.

Mr. Jekyl

I hate myself for getting drunk. (again) I was on a 3 week roll without alcohol in my system, then an old friend came back from Hong Kong and started handing out drinks in a gig in a bar last night, BOY was I drunk, I can't remember what I did and what I said and what happend, tho I apologize in any way that I did that would hurt anyone, I am sorry, I'll try to be sober again.

crimson terror squad

What's wrong?

I wonder what is wrong with me? Why can't I accept life? Why can't I accept myself? Why can't I accept most things? I'm in reflection with my life right now, as I reflect on the things I did and want to do with my life.

There is one thing that hinders me from being great. It's Accepting losing people you love, I'm so scared to lose the people in my life that I love, maybe that's why I can't seem to open up to others in a deeper sense, it's the fact that if they get too close and get lost, I'd get my spirits down even deeper, I crave acceptance, In fact that is what I look for in a relationship, in a family, it is to accept life as it is. Yes, we dream of grander things and yes, we strive to survive, what is it that we are living for? I now know what it is, and it is love, she haven't seem to find me but I already found her.

Should I jump and fall?

Yeah, Should I? Should I tell her? This really sucks, I can't tell her what I feel cause I'm too weak to face the consequence, I hope I do the right thing, But the right thing seems to be wrong sometimes, This feels like a car crash waiting to happen and the most great thing I'll do for myself for once, I am stuck, I need to move forward, I hope with her, I just wish everything was simple, yeah I know life is never gonna be simple but with her beside me, any life would do.

No Joy in Mudville

Here's a tiny Jewel I've found in my mp3 archive a couple of months ago...

No Joy in Mudville, Recorded live in some bar in, I dunno, Boston, I think, their early years as Deathcab, Really loved how the audio quality got captured, really sets the mood with the mumbled vocals and boomy drum/bass, sometimes Low-fi is beauty.

By Death Cab for Cutie...



If it doesnt Play... Press play. Duh.

Last night I dreamt that I was you.
I was dressed all in black with dark glasses and attitude.
Such a pose I could simply not hold
through days in a northern town that I had once called a home.
And your studies of fringe New York Streets:
I was reading the pavement in every word you would speak.
To a "brownstone up three flights of stairs" and it's on...

Buying drinks for the poets upstate,
this southern corruption towed you down the interstate,
and they all said that you were the king
of a gloomy disruption that surfaced when you would sing.
And this town simply cannot compete
so I'm packing my Bullets and Silvertones and heading east
To a "brownstone up three flights of stairs" and it's on...

on, on, on...

If I could have (had) my way, this year would bridge '66 (again?)

Trust fund hipsters were casing the room
chock full of amphetamines.
The overturned kick drum boom
set the pace with incomparable cool.
And if the tempo was lousy it was lost on all but you...
And your studies of fringe New York Streets:
I was reading the pavement in every word you would speak.
To a "brownstone up three flights of stairs" and it's on, on, on, on...it's on

If I could have (had) my way, this year would bridge '66 (again?)

3d head

Update:






Yep I'm doing it, I'm putting myself in cyberspace! Wish me luck! LOL

songs and relationships 5

Demons Lyrics
Guster



My words confuse you
My eyes don't move a blink
Cause it's easier sometimes
Not to be sincere
Somehow I make you believe
Believe

When I speak I'll cross my fingers
Will you know you've been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt

Honest is easy
Fiction's where genius lies
Cause it's easier sometimes
Not to be involved
Somehow I'll make you believe
Believe

When I speak I'll cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt

Crossroads going nowhere.

Feeling stuck with my life these days, I wanna change to a different person, I hate my current self. Weak and forgiving, fat, ugly and inadequate.

Plans and dreams are failing, so is body and soul, self deprivation for one's happiness really kills a heart, being in a band to me really does'nt help, losing a band member and a good friend really sucks you out, getting new ones feels weird, plans not working out fucks you up, revelations, I could'nt stand to see, No mind games, no mouthed words, Patience is you seeing hope. losing it means I'm dead.

I wanna sleep, calm sleep, deep sleep,

have to end my current lifestyle and start my new life, a life with barricades and secrets, Simple and healthy, productive and enriching, I am an open comic book for people to read, some people don't like it some people do, to those, thanks, now turn to page 32.

the end.

maya maya muto maya

Update on my Maya re-learning, been watching endless videos for maya, I feel so weakened and dragging because of that, but yeah, I absorb knowledge better when I repeat and play video's like 5 times evey 10 mins. for the whole 2 hrs. (hint on how I learn.)

Obsolete

Here's a portrait for My band mate Ced Concepcion, My best buddy and a great song writer and singer, done in photoshop cs2 and intous 3, 3-4 hr. on and off tops used a photo ref.

For your eyes only...

There is this girl that I've met, A very short stint in my life where light prevailed darkness in my mind, She glowed in me as a lamp in a once very dark attique, after seeing and realizing all my faults and weakness, she made me feel I wanted a new life, A life with her, a life for her, I'd do anything and everything for her, limitations aside, possibilties endless...

This light feels like it's slowly fading away... Leaving me behind in this dark attique, turning this once lit room in to a blind man's perspective... I always hear stories about life where people get to hurt each other by not hurting each other, I thought to myself the answer is simple... Then when your at the middle of it you get so misguided and lost that you do'nt know where to go to except down, I feel I can do better if she can give me a new chance in her life, Never have I felt so alone when she shut her doors. I only asked for one thing... Her.

Nevermind the pasts, the history, the sayings, the teachings, the warnings, I just wanna be stupid and ignore all of it, throw caution out the window and be with her like I wanted it to be, Change is good to a person. I need to change. Change my ways, my life, my perspective... I know for a fact that the world does not revolve for me... But when she walked into my life I felt like the sun and stars itself held still on that very moment just to remind me that I'm still alive and faith still has an eye opened for me with a slight smirk and a very faint laugh, hope does really know how to hide... but by finding it, defines what you are in life...

Slingy

I see your shadow on the street now
I hear you push through the rusty gate
Click of your heels on the concrete
Waiting for a knock coming way too late
It seems an age since I've seen you
Countdown as the weeks trickle into days

So you come in and put your bags down
I know there's something in the air
How can I do this to you right now
If you're over there when I need you here

My happiness is slowly creeping back
Now you're at home
If it ever starts sinking in
It must be when you pack up and go

It seems an age since I've seen you
Countdown as the weeks trickle into days
I hope that time hasn't changed you
All I really want is for you to stay

I know I know I know what is inside

Songs and Relationship 3

I don't see you, I won't call you
I don't know enough to stall you
Is it me, or is it all you?
Guess, it's on and on
On a day, maybe I'd show you
But it's the least of all I go through
But the thing is I don't know you
And it's on and on

Trembling words Don't make my eyes close
And if anyone then you'd know
I can't find out 'cause it won't show
And it's on and on
Every dream is shot by daylight
And I pray that maybe you're right
But if you don't, maybe I might
'Cause it's on and on

When it takes too long I lose it
I'll just hang while you abuse it
If you knew then why'd you choose it
'Cause it's on and on
You're not gonna get me through this are you
You're not gonna get me through this are you

Anytime I'm there to show you
But if it takes too long I know you
Out the door just leavin' me screwed
And it's on and on
Everytime I try to fight it
It's so hard to seem excited
And if you don't turn then I'll bite it
And it's on and on
You're not gonna get me through this are you
You're not gonna get me through this are you

I don't see you, I won't call you
I don't know enough to stall you
Is it me, or is it all you?
Yes, it's on and on
Every dream is shot by daylight
And I pray maybe that you're right
But if you don't maybe I might
Cause it's on and on

3d smallpops (practice)

THAT's IT! I'm fed up with 2d art!!!LOL I'm jumping 3d!!!

Nah, I just wanna practice some 3d stuff in my arsenal, Stuff's getting rusty but I think it looks good to me, gotta prepare my repetoir of digital art skills for a looming migration up ahead, plus I don't have to draw em' characters cause I just have to animate and pose them! 3d is really cool, especially new programs nowadays with new graphical effects and technology like shader 3.0, bump mapping, large texture formats, particle physics and hair fur effects, and whole wikipidia of nerd words. :)

I hope I get runned down by a bus.

bibisil

Here's another DP, hope yah like it. :)

Peace

Yup reworking some of my past ideas with my current skill and knowledge in digital arts, I'ma gonna focus now on 3d modeling and animation cause frankly 2d is a hard media to be doing if you want animation in it. plus 3d is really the future of media arts, I thinkI'm gonna ride on it! YAAAOOHHOOOoooo! haha

Kindred Spirits.

You always feel what I feel, You think what I think, you like what I like, You say what I say. You laugh what I joke, You smile when I smile, I love what you love, My mood is your mood, Nitpicks are what we pick, the detail is almost surreal to not notice, Your troubles are my troubles, My music is your music, It's almost perfect for us, or is it already? Perfect is what you need and I am not, I already know life sucks, but after I found you, I would've not wasted one second not to live without you, I don't want to go back to that place where I don't know what to do and no sense of direction is all I feel, I don't think you need me, when the time comes, I'll be on my way, if only I was strong enough right now to stay, Only if you'd fight for me, I know This is not a mistake, cause the biggest mistake that I would do in my life is walk away and mistakes are all what I've been doing all my life, I hope you find the best man, for I am far from the best, I strive to be better, accidents are always never expected, but I'd love to be in this accident again. I am sorry if I have to forcibly contradict myself to you, cause I have no power enough to say what I want to say, If only we were different entities and in a different situation, I would have crossed the finish line with you,

My heart is your heart.

just another day

Feeling sad and lonely, I don't think I can take anymore of this... Feels like I'm withering away, would like to tell her but should'nt, I wanna burst in joy, and brace for the impact but knowing it's all in my head brings me down to the ground again, I wanna start a new life, to clear my head.

A good book for CON artists.

The GAME written by: Neil Strauss

There's a book that was sent to me by a friend who gave me advice on meeting girls, One drunken sad night at a bar, I was rambling about being how lonely I am lately, He suggested to read a book called "The game", that book would teach me how to attract the opposite sex. It would give ways how to get the girl you want, So me getting my head cleared up with all the art studying I was doing, sat down and read the E- book he sent, at first, the book introduced the character, He was a 30 something writer, bald , pale skin, weakly, and Scrawny. So not me... told his early beginnings from his first blow, to his first F..k, the story goes yadda, yadda, yadda, He was so much a "loser" that he only had sex with one girl and that he vowed one day to get every girl he wanted, He stumbled upon this website that talks to guys about how to pick up women, A forum that teaches and answers every question that frustrated guys would ask how to bag the girl he wants, He met a master pick up artist called Mystery in the website and they met personally and the story went on.

The Book teaches how men should use techniques on girls that would seduce them in subconscious ways such as using a move called neg (a negative compliment that would be used to get the girls attention. -in other words, teasing) and some magic tricks that would give the Pick up artists some entertainment tools for the girl to notice, So much more to remember but I forgot the other dirty little tactics that would end men up in bed with them, he pointed out that this should only be used in good intentions and that no one should not use it in evil ways, I say FUCK him, yeah FUCK him. This kind of technique / thinking destroys families, relationships and people, a popular comic book line said: With great power comes great responsibilities, people having this knowledge should really be careful on how they should use it on. Call me a cynic but Peter Parker only exists in comic books, I may be feminine sounding but yeah, with this knowledge men would REALLY fuck around, No doubt, and to those who practice it, Just stay away from my family.

In ending this blog I shall say that people are different from each other and life cannot be controlled, no matter way shape and form.

Huli

Still learning speed painting and digital painting all by myself tho... Gotta master and learn more techniques like mood, lighting, perspective, anatomy, style, and alot more! I'm really up to the challenge cause really this is what I want to do with my life, art, not just any art... My art, I have this dream of working for some big animation / game company and I'd really love to apply for a concept artist there, That's why I'm freeing up more time to master my craft, It's still a long way to go but I'd rather do this now than not try at all.


I found this guy on the internet named Bobby Chiu, He's a very great Digital graphic illustrator and painter from Canada and teaches art in Toronto, he has some very inspiring tips for young artists (such as myself err..) and really gives me the drive to really pursue this, Well, as they say in that rat movie, Rattatouile... "Anyone can cook!" :D Here's his porfolio, http://digital-bobert.cgsociety.org/gallery/290104/ All his works are out of this world, he has this very light hearted funny and realistically painted characters that is really endearing to the first time lookers, I wish I could get to his level sooner, OH WELL, practice makes perfect! and Perfect makes MONEY!!! :D Wish me luck!:D

Songs and relationships 2

To know that there's someone that would be there until the last minute of our existence, Thus we jump to the song by Deathcab for cutie called: What Sarah said. There's a line there, That "Love is watching someone die", An invisible tear ran at the side of my cheek when I first heard that song, real ones came out when I heard that line, I could relate to that, having family members die in front of me, really sticks a needle in my heart when that song plays.

My grandpa and I were close in his later years, He was funny supportive and extremely smart, He was a great man, One morning he was hard at breathing I tried everything in my power to save him, cpr, mouth to mouth breathing, blood circulation, everything I know and what my Aunt gave advice on the phone, Still he died, the look on his face was so imprinted in my head, He was in excrutiating pain, breathing heavily, tired and so lost and scared, After the initial shock and the last death grip in his body, His face calmed down, I have never seen a man's face so calm, then it dawned at me, Pops was dead, at first I was so shocked, I could'nt really process the thoughts and confusion that was going thru at that time, I was in drone mode, everything felt automatic, I held my tears and drove him to a hospital, I was thinking maybe he was still hanging on, maybe there's a couple of years left in him, more time for me to show him and tell him how great his life was, how great a man he became and was, I was his number one fan.

Doc said no deal, it already ended, still no tears had been shed, I thought better accept the fact that we all die, why feel pain when dying at an old age? No tears should be spent, It's futile. I went home to get some things for his burial service, I rested in my room and turned on the radio, just to keep my ears distracted just for a little bit. A song came up,

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangcock to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark





Tears fell. I've never felt that way in a song before.
When I'm ready...
I will follow you in the dark.

Songs and relationships

A band called Stereophonics sang a song called Maybe tommorow, I used to listen to it way back, I like the riffs and melody of the song, one thing I don't really get was the lyrics... Why find your / his way home? Is he lost or something? Does he need assistance in getting his home address cause he had amnesia? What? What is he singing about?

Then lately (I guess I'm a late bloomer) I kinda feel the same way, Love lost and love found, Careers end and has just begun, A family that loves and supports, friends that are always there, blind faith but after all that ends... Where will you turn to? That song's line: "Maybe tommorow I'll find my way home" It's in line with the great question in every human's mind, Why am I here? What is the meaning of life? What should I live for? Family, Given... Friends, well... . Money, nah. But deep down there's something more, Yes the answer is obvious, The Girl.

I have not really been in a relationship that deep to really know and feel what Phonics was talking about, Maybe tommorow I'll find her way home, that rings good, And I think it would feel good that someone would Love, accept and understand who you are. That would feel so good indeed.

Untitled work in prog

Restless nights your always in my head
My mind feels so clear it's made of lead
Your always making me think that I'm dead
This dream of mine I don't want it to end

Chorus:

I, I don't wanna fly/die,
without seeing you smile,
just for one last time

I can't justify my rights
with out saying goodbye
I don't want you to cry

Drawerings Dino Jr. lyrics

Do you know that it's alright?
I been thinkin', seein' that's not how it's gotta be
Ain't sayin' if it's worth the fight
I'm a space but you can count on me to save your place
And I know it's all to do with you and me
Do you know if you're against the deal? We'll wait and see
But I'd love to hear that story once again
It's the only part of me you still defend

Did you know I heard your voice?
But when I call to see if you're around, I have no choice
Then the news is in my face
Took a step to let the feeling go and lost my place
And I swear I hear the same thing every night
Once again no one counted for the hours I spent

I baked as any time I drifted out of sight
Remember when you didn't need this time to mend
Anywhere you'd like to go
Would it help to be inside the life I couldn't know?
If your shaken it won't show
Hold out for me, 'cause bailin' at this point is really low.
And I know it's all to do with just a friend
And I can't decipher messages you send
But I'd love to hear that story once again
It's the only part of me you still defend

My sentiments exactly....

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

--Robert Heinlein

Keeping the faith..

Done in Corel Painter 9 and 1.5 hours, Digital acrylic paint and brittle brushes.

edited in CS2.

Add a little effort in that please!

This pic is from a good friend and my sister's best friend Michelle Seiling, She asked me if I can do a portrait of her just like I did with my face, so me at that time was looking for something to paint took up the challenge AND:


Came up with this...

She looked more cartoony this way, and she lost some of her features because of the transition.
I felt dumb sending this to her, (that and a complaint from deviantart! LOL), So I reworked on this image and came up with a new one...

Thus resulting the final image..
I used references other than that the BG and clothes and body came in my head. It's all in the head really. ;p Painted entirely from PS CS2, wacom intous and my ever so clumsy hands.

Drumming her way

Vector art for my band mate and a great friend Lorraine May Concepcion, This used to be posted on her friendly social network website but apparently already deleted it. *sob

Any hoo, Done entirely in vectors, All the highlights and stuff, did a little color blending for that "rastered" look but was working too closly at the canvas I forgot how zoomed in I was so I did'nt really saw the real perspective. Darn! Kinda like my life... Ain't it ironic?